Today’s topic centers around a time I was very afraid. This is a little difficult to write about. But I want to give this blog – all of you – 100% of me. So I’ll give you a peek into my darkest place for just this moment. Keep in mind this was a long time ago and all is well now.
I always knew something was missing…even as a small child. I didn’t realize what that meant until I was a bit older. About 16. And then things came crashing down. I was missing my happiness. I’m not talking about angst-filled teenage rebellion. Or a moment in time where things got rough. I’m talking about depression. That deep, dark word that, at the time, no one really understood – let alone wanted to talk about.
After years of not understanding what was missing, I finally realized something was amiss. It wasn’t just me thinking I was crazy. Or me just going through a rough time in school. It was real. And all I wanted in the world was to make it go away. Feel happy. Believe I could be whole. Smile again.
Through the support of my loved ones (my mom and dad couldn’t have been a better light for me at that time) and a lot of help from the outside (therapy and medicine), I got through it. It wasn’t easy. It didn’t happen overnight. I struggled. I cried. I had my ups and downs. But I came out on the other side.
For the rest of my life I will have to think about what those signs are – to prevent that deep, dark place from happening again. It’s just a part of me. And you know what? I’m better for having gone through it. I’m stronger now and I wouldn’t have it any other way. And I’m actually a completely positive person now. Crazy right? Oh we all have our moments yes, but just going through those difficult moments in life make us that much stronger.
So there you have it. That moment made me the most afraid. And stronger than I’ve ever been.
Monday’s post: (a bit lighter) a personality test
Have a great weekend bloggy friends!