No boyfriend. No husband.. (or wife/girlfriend/friend with benefits..whatever). No one at all. Not a single soul is around when these things go down. I’m talking secret single behavior. Or SSB.
Carrie Bradshaw coined this term in season 4 of the show. She was freaking out over Aiden getting all up in her space (aka staying over every night) and really just wanted to do those things that one does when one is all alone in their home. She just happens to stack saltines and put grape jelly on them while standing up in the kitchen reading Vogue.
This topic came up the other night between Laurie and I during a text convo when I admitted that I was being a naked bartender. Now yeah that’s probably TMI but I admitted I was letting my self-tanner dry. See, I can do all of these combined things (I’m efficient) because I live alone. Single as a sad old lady with a lot of cats. Cept I’m not sad or old or have a lot of cats (Jack, you’re going to be an only child for forever, buddy). But moving on. I started thinking, ok…what other SSBs do I have? Well here are a few. Without going further down the TMI road for all that I’ve scared already.
– Leave my shoes right by the door when I walk in. Sure, I put them away later (definitely before bed) but a girl’s gotta kick off those stilettos after a long day of sitting on my ass looking pretty in them at the office.
– Shoes and work pants off. Yoga pants on. Again right when I walk in the door. Whatever. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.
– I will sometimes do my nails while on the kitchen counter. It’s weird but I dig it. I have so much ROOM in my kitchen now.
– I let half of my clothes air dry around my apartment post-laundry cycle. I couldn’t do that with a roomie.
– I have girl scout cookies in the freezer for emergencies.
– Yoga in the living room. Too self conscious if anyone else is there. Let me be zen in peace.
I guess that’s about all for now. I can’t give it all away. A lady doesn’t let it all hang out. Or whatever it is that proper ladies say. What’s your Secret Single Behavior?
Note from the moi: Alright kiddos…no blog post tomorrow. Because I am undoubtedly balls deep in some tequila in Mexico and well, I didn’t have time to schedule another fine post. See you sometime next week!