Oh look at some of you with your judgey faces reading that title. It’s so real though. Tell me all your friends on Facebook are your truest friends? No way you have 647 close friends. And admit that 1/4 of that group aren’t just people you stalk
to make yourself feel better because it’s fun. Pssh we all do. Might as well admit it. PS – happy Friday!
Ok today’s next to last Blogtember post is an anonymous letter to my Facebook friends. Here you go. (Guess it’s not going to be that anonymous since it will post on FB. Ah well.)
Oh where do I begin. There are a good amount of you that are exempt from what I’ll say below. Those are my close friends. They are people I actually talk/text on the phone. Or email (bloggy friends). In real life. You guys have a special place in my heart.
But some of you. Sigh. Here’s some of my least favorite things/people/posts. We can all relate.
- I just ran/worked out so hard/hit up the gym – Yes coming from a girl who clearly doesn’t “hit up the gym” – I am rolling my eyes when you look for affirmation telling your FB friendsies that you are actually doing something healthy. No. One. Cares.
- I’m a skinny person posting a picture of a horrible meal and calling myself a fat kid – That says it all. Just stop.
- I am airing my dirty laundry/entire life on Facebook – Oh you’re going to be un-friended so fast your head would spin. But you love getting down in the dumps and having everyone help you get back up again. See next bullet point
- I am so depressed/sad/hate my life always – So you have that bad of a life that you really need to share it on this wall of
shamenews? Take it to therapy, sweetie.
- I love being vague to elicit response – There is nothing that really frosts my cupcakes more than a vague poster. Example: someone posts just a sad face. Oh really? Not going to go into detail? Fine then I am not going to ask. These people need to stop begging for attention through their passive aggressive posts.
- I am obsessed with quotes – No one loves quotes that much that they need to post them every hour. Kind of lose their impact after the 457th posting
- I love to stir up controversy all the time with religion/politics – Oh ok, I do have one close friend I can think of that does this and I let it slide (don’t hate me, J) – but overall – you’re just looking for trouble. Start a blog. So people can dedicate their free time to that instead
- I will only post every detail about my wedding/being married – Because apparently single people do not matter. LIFE DIDN’T BEGIN UNTIL NOW. sigh
- I love my kids and now no longer my husband…kids are my life – I have so many friends that are parents and I love you guys. I love your kids even more (sorry). But this doesn’t apply to you. It applies to those that really only talk about those screaming poop monsters. Speaking of poop. No one needs to know the bowel movements of Johnnie on Facebook
Ok, that’s enough. I have probably gotten some of you to un-friend me already. And if you do, you really probably weren’t that great of a friend anyway.
Cheers to the weekend! One more Blogtember post coming at ya on Monday. Topic: Something old.