About a half mile down the road, there’s a bar that I frequent around 1-2x a week. The staff is friendly, the beer is cold, and I’m always guaranteed a few laughs before I walk out the door to go home.
It’s kinda my bar.
It’s funny when you enter into a relationship of sorts with a spot- let’s say it’s a coffee shop. Before you know it, they know your order and begin to understand your quirks. Hell, they probably know when you’re having a bad day. The extrovert in me thrives on this kind of interaction.
But let’s get back to my bar. The other night I’m chatting with a fellow patron, a male, as that’s who I typically get along with in this type of setting. He’s married but I’m fine with it. He knows the bartender as I do and we bond over our love of cars. I’d never flirt with a married man so let’s take that off the table. I’m just enjoying the conversation over cars and eventually bourbon. It’s a slower night, but I’m ok with it as it leads to fun banter with everyone seated belly to the bar.
Before you know it, we are chatting about dating. One bartender says, “you love cars, bourbon, beer, and sports- why are you single?” – I hate this question, admittedly. What’s a girl to say?
“Oh who knows. It’s just difficult to meet people,” I reply.
Looking right at me with an expression that assures me he’s just discovered something extraordinary, another bartender states, “I know what it is. You’re intimidating.”
I sigh a little. This isn’t new. “Such a catch” or “you have a strong personality” or “but your career is so important to you ” – I’ve heard it all. But really, is it a compliment? I’m not so sure. Who’s going to set up their friend with a girl who’s intimidating? That sounds like a barrel of fun.
After I sip the last of my beer, I shrug it off and smile. I know a complement has been thrown my way and I’ll take it as that. Intimidating? I mean, I’ll say that’s better than closed off and insecure…or a myriad of other things. This girl knows what she wants and eventually someone will stand up and hold my hand unafraid. Proud, even.
So cheers to that next beer, and that following interaction. A smile followed by a friendly conversation. I’m not going to stop being who I am. And I’m sure you can agree I should be no other way.
Intimidation, I’m no longer going to listen to that. I’m content just the way I am.